Food and Feelings
Article from Mind & Body Wellness Center
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Naturally or out of habit, we learn to associate food with
love and nurturing. As children, we may have been rewarded with food for good
behavior. We may have received a special treat to make us feel better when we
were hurt. As adults, we may be continuing the practice of rewarding ourselves,
lifting our spirits, or searching for love and acceptance through the same means
. . . food. It is not surprising that so many people confuse hunger for
food with their hunger for emotional fulfillment. Food is friendship. Food is
love. Food is soothing. Food is attention. Food can also be trouble, and food is
only a temporary solution. Since we are not aware of the connection with food and
feelings, we often eat unconsciously. Take a moment and think about your eating
patterns. Why do you eat? Do you eat when you're anxious, frustrated, bored,
angry, sad, or lonely? Often, the foods chosen during these times are high in
fat, salt, sugar, and calories. But even if low calorie foods are eaten to fill
an emotional hunger, food is being used inappropriately. Food should not be used
to nourish the soul. Food is fuel and should only be used to nourish the body.
One of the first steps in stopping this unhealthy cycle is awareness. A food diary is one of the best tools to help you
gain awareness about your eating patterns. In addition to when, how much, and
what you eat, record your emotions when you eat. Learn to reflect for a
few moments before eating to get in touch with your feelings. Becoming aware of
your emotional eating patterns is the first step to coping with emotional hunger
in a healthful, more positive way.Confront Emotional Hunger & Cope with
Emotions.
Once you consciously begin to distinguish physical hunger from emotional hunger,
you need to begin coping with your emotions. It goes beyond willpower. You must
learn to develop skills and techniques to help you cope with common emotions
that cause you to eat when you are not physically hungry. However, certain
serious emotional issues require professional treatment.
Sort your feelings out, and
face them later.
Take some time to sort through your feelings without the added guilt of
overeating. The "time-out" technique used with children for discipline can be a
useful technique for adults. Putting yourself in "time-out" to get in touch with
your real feelings is often enough to divert your thoughts to a more
constructive activity. Time and distance can be important diversions from
eating. Make an "Alternative Activities" list or just get out of the house (or
other environment where food is readily available). Then deal with the emotional
issue in the future.
Self-Affirmation: I pledge to get in touch with my feelings and not
stifle them with food.
Become your own best friend,
not your own worst enemy.
Food can be our best friend and our worst enemy. We develop a companionship with
food — it is always there when we need it, and it never lets us down. But there
is something missing. Food doesn’t talk to us, it doesn’t care for us, and it
isn’t genuinely interested in us. It doesn’t make things better. It makes things
worse. Food doesn’t fix everything; in fact, it doesn’t fix anything. Food
doesn’t really comfort us, it doesn’t really reduce our stress,
and it doesn’t really make us happy. Our bodies cannot live without food,
but our spirits can live without food. Fulfillment in life comes from
accepting and loving ourselves and accepting and loving others.
Self-Affirmation: I can live without (this food). My health, happiness,
and inner peace are what are truly important in my life.
There are various techniques, meditation
exercises, and guided imagery techniques to help you learn to love yourself. For
example, "Celebrate Yourself" – treat yourself to a wonderful day
that is full of things you love to do. Give yourself the same respect and
attention you would offer a friend or date. Go someplace special, and treat
yourself to your favorite things ("raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens").
Celebrate your own company by doing the things you love to do.
Know when to seek professional
help.
Some deep emotional issues require
professional help. Be sure to recognize when serious problems, such as
depression or anxiety, cannot be handled by yourself. Other problems may
manifest as eating disorders. If your emotional eating gets way out of control,
get professional help. A binge eating disorder requires treatment by a specially
trained team of healthcare professionals.
According to the diagnostic criteria for eating
disorders, a binge eating disorder may be characterized by:
- eating an amount of food that is definitely
larger than most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar
circumstances
- a sense of lack of control over eating
- eating more rapidly than normal
- eating until feeling uncomfortably full
- eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry
- eating alone out of embarrassment for how much you are eating
- feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or feeling very guilty after
overeating
- marked distress regarding binge eating
Substitute healthy behaviors
for unhealthy behaviors.
It takes more than willpower to cope with
emotional hunger. You must learn to substitute healthy behaviors for unhealthy
behaviors — nonfood-related behaviors for food-related behaviors. An "Alternative
Activities" list can be a very powerful tool to help you learn to engage
in activities other than eating. Divide the list into constructive and enjoyable
activities. Keep this list handy for quick reference. Plan specific activities
to address specific emotions. For example:
Boredom: Everyone gets bored at one time or another. Select an activity from your list or
enjoy some physical activity! Would you ever tell your children "go get
something to eat" when they tell you they are bored? The usual response is "go
do something". Listen to your own advice.
Frustration: Identify the source of your frustration; then confront it, and deal with it.
Let your anger diffuse before confronting the frustration. Use positive
communication skills to express your feelings. Stephen Covey, author of "The
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", recommends that we "seek first to
understand, then to be understood."
Anxiety: Determine the cause of your
anxiety. If it is caused by artificial means, such as coffee, nutrition
supplements, herbs, or medication, prevent the situation from happening again.
If it is emotional, try some deep breathing and relaxation exercises. If your
anxiety is chronic, consider professional counseling.
Stress: Visualize yourself in a safe, calm,
relaxing place while you take slow, deep breaths. Make a "Stress Busters" card
file of things you can do to comfort yourself and unwind from stress. If you
want to learn yoga or meditation, there are many books and videos on the
subject. Consider participating in one of the Mind-Body Wellness Center yoga or
tai chi classes.
Sadness or the Blues:
Everyone gets the blues sometimes. Try to identify the reason for your sadness.
Treat yourself with love and patience on blue days and design a plan to get
yourself out of the blues. Exercise, exposure to sunlight, support groups, and
pets have all been shown to combat the blues. Put your feelings into words by
writing in a journal or talking with a friend. However, if the blues are chronic
or related to a major issue or painful event, seek professional counseling.
Depression needs to be treated with professional counseling and, if necessary,
with medication.
Happiness: It is often difficult to separate happiness and celebration from food.
Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays — they are all associated with food. And
that’s okay. However, while celebrations can mean appropriately enjoying special
foods, celebrations do not have to mean overeating. Overeating is not
appropriate and can often ruin a special event with feelings of guilt or
physical discomfort. Begin some new traditions, and learn to celebrate with less
food or without food altogether — get together with friends, go to a movie, buy
something special, play some games, or go dancing. Remember the true reason for
the celebration, and it usually has nothing to do with food.
Nervousness: If you eat out of nervousness, use humor
or practice relaxation techniques to "calm your nerves". Take some deep breaths
and feel the sense of calm that washes over your body. Nervous eating is
unconscientuous eating, so try to maintain a healthy environment during such
times.
Anger: Put yourself in "time-out" and calm yourself down by using relaxation techniques
or going for a walk. Once relaxed, try to deal with the situation that has
caused the anger using positive communication skills. You cannot always control
a situation, but you can always control how you respond to it.
Fatigue: Reflect on your sleep habits. Are you getting enough sleep? Is your sleep
restful? Do you go to bed and get up at the same time each day? Learn to improve
your sleep habits. Consider taking a "power nap" or energize yourself with
exercise.
Loneliness: Visit someone; call, e-mail, or write a friend, relative, or loved-one;
participate in a "secure" chat-room on the internet; volunteer; join a local
organization; or get involved in your community. A pet can be a very powerful
tool to combat loneliness.
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